Beginning Again

“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” —Meister Eckhart

I have practiced mindful meditation over many years. I go through some seasons when I meditate daily, and others when I don’t meditate at all. Sometimes I set a timer and simply focus on the breath, and other times I follow guided meditations. Some days I practice for 20 minutes and other days I’m lucky to sit silent for 3.

Reflecting on why I meditate, I used to think it was to find peace. To silence the chattering mind and calm the inner turmoil. Funny thing is, if it is peace I’m trying to find, I am rarely successful. I worry, get emotional, compare myself, obsess, and follow some pretty wacky ideas. So I guess I have been a failure at meditation, right? Wrong. Now I understand that what keeps me practicing lies in this idea of “beginning again.”

Returning to the Breath

While practicing mindfulness mediation, we are taught to focus on the breath. Sometimes it is helpful to count, such as breathing in one-two-three-four, holding one-two-three-four, breathing out one-two-three-four-five-six. I generally breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth. Focusing on the breath helps me quiet the mind a little. To find the coveted “space between thoughts.”

Teachers of meditation always guide us to keep coming back to the breath when our minds stray get distracted, and to do so non-judgmentally. As thoughts intrude, we return to the breath, return to the breath, return to the breath. While I practice meditation I often get pissed that I can’t take enough breaths without my mind wandering. Nothing like a good dose of guilt and shame in the middle of my attempts at achieving Nirvana!

So the reality is, the wandering mind is an integral part of the meditation. It is the very thing that nudges us over and over to return to the breath.

A Metaphor for Life

Each cycle of the breath is a new beginning.